Thursday, October 25, 2007


I’ve been meaning to get my hair cut since about May-ish, and I’ve just never been able to get to it. I finally called my mom and asked her to book me an appointment for the weekend we’ll be in Las Vegas. I really don’t care about my hair, but it’s just a crazy example of how little discretionary time we seem to have these days.

Just about every night, weekend, holiday, and spare minute outside of work is booked through the end of January.

Why I need to suck it up:

  • Grad school is good for us. I know, I know. Plus it’s better to get it done now before we might have other beautiful little distractions.
  • I hate missing out on family events. I love getting to see everyone and getting to be a part of those memories. So even if it’s not super-convenient, I want to try to be there.
  • Handling all this without having a nervous breakdown will be good for us, and prepare us for the many years ahead when things are just as busy.

But here’s some whining anyway:

  • I miss sleeping, hanging out in pajamas, and walking up to our park. And getting to watch mindless crap on TV. I mean sure, we will make time for The Office, but what about the America’s Next Top Model marathon?
  • Don’t we seem far too young to be focusing so much on our career paths and futures and accumulated retirement? I’m a little bitter that we didn’t take off a few years to bum around Europe.
  • I hate disappointing people. During the rare occasions when we just can’t be there, I hate feeling like I killed someone’s puppy.

So that’s it. Enjoy this blog because it may have to last you through Christmas.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Too much thinking…

…but remarkably, during these past few days, thinking has actually left me feeling happy and hopeful as a opposed to my usual perpetual state of existential crisis. Here’s why:

Across the Universe - It was beautiful. It made me see things from a different perspective. The music was amazing, and even for someone who has probably had Beatles songs playing in the background of my life since I was born, this movie made me listen to the lyrics and hear things I hadn’t heard before. It was simple. It was optimistic. It showed people doing their best to get by in a confusing time. And in the end it was inspiring.

Leading with Soul - This was the first grad school assignment that really motivated me on any level. My chosen "leadership" book (which I chose because it was in the library, it was short, and it seemed vaguely interesting) turned out to be pretty captivating. Rather than a list of cliché leadership tips, a parable-like narrative framed advice from world religions and philosophers about man’s search for meaning. The basic gist was, "Until you have found your own meaning, you have nothing to offer others." Deep stuff for an education class.

My Parents Visiting - I love my parents for the same reason that everyone else loves their parents - they provided me with food, shelter, helped me with homework and went to my school performances. But I also love my parents as people. I love that we can talk about politics, philosophy, history, and religion over breakfast in Sedona. I love that we can all watch Across the Universe the same weekend we watch Knocked Up. I don’t think I’ll ever be as cool a person as my parents, and definitely not as cool a parent. After all, our future kids can’t believe in Santa Claus or have any plastic toys.

In any case, it’s all left me feeling thoughtful and content, ready to find my place in the world and figure out what I have to give. I’m ready for an adventure. But for tonight, I'll just be doing homework.