Sitting in her memorial service and going through her things made me realize how little I knew about my grandma. I didn’t know the woman who exchanged funny, flirty anniversary cards with her husband, was an excellent seamstress, and an impressive musician. To me she was always just my grandma, and the things that I’ll remember about her are much different:
• At Christmas and Easter, the notes that came from Santa or the Easter bunny were a squiggly version of her handwriting (obviously carefully disguised).
• At her house we would always eat peanut butter and jelly on wheat bread with carrot sticks and apple slices and fewer chips than either of us would have liked (eating crusts, especially on wheat bread, was slightly horrifying at the time).
• When she would babysit us, she would be the pitcher when we would play with the Snoopy baseball set. When it was too late to play outside, we would play Yahtzee.
• She could easily trade joking (or at least half joking) insults with my dad.
SIDENOTE: My only social skill - starting conversations with something sarcastic and inappropriate - came from my dad. So I’ll blame him for implying that my cousin was on drugs in front of the minister. But that’s another post for another time…
• We would try on my Mom’s wedding dress in the yellow room (my mom’s old room) where she kept all of her old formal dresses. We would sit at the vanity and look at ourselves in all the different lights on the makeup mirror.
• In her house she had a pink bathroom and always had Aquafresh toothpaste which was the best because it was stripe-y. She also had a plastic cuticle pusher that I thought was very cool even though I had no idea what it really did.
• She would pay us 10 cents for every acorn we picked up in her yard.
• She would let us play with Mom’s old dolls, Debby and Cathy
• She would let us drink out of the brightly colored aluminum cups that were in the “bar” in the basement.
• We would put on fabulous roller skating shows on her driveway.
• When we stayed at her house for long periods of time, we would get to watch As The World Turns with her.
• She always made sure that we were taken care of – fed, clean, clothed, and equipped with the resources to take up any opportunity that came our way.
• She was practical and strong. She loved us, and we loved her.
I wish any of this brought any sort of closure but I think I’ll always have to remind myself that she’s not in Lincoln welcoming a visit when we can break away from our busy lives.
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4 comments:
Dear Rachel,
My Grandma Lambert lived with us several years before she died. She was confined to bed or a wheel chair. I was 5 years old. She would pay me a penny for helping her with some simple chores. My other Grandma lived nearby and among other things baked whole wheat bread in #10 tomato juice cans. Consequently, we always had round toast or round sandwiches. It was so cool. Later in life as I read their life stories I came to appreciate what amazing women they are. But at five, all I knew was that they loved me, and I loved them.
Over fifty five years later those, and other memories of my Grandmothers, comfort me like a warm blanket on a cool night.
The sadness of your loss will, in time, be diminished as the wonderful memories remain strong. Rest assured, you will see them again. What a wonderful reunion that will be.
Love, Steve the Dad
We were all blessed to love and be loved by Mom James.
Your tribute to Grandma Jean has triggered a flood of memories, and a heart full of gratitude. Thank you, my dear Rachel!
Rachel,
I just "found" your blog and was in tears as I read this... I have many similar memories of your Grandma, my Aunt. I spent lots of time with Debby, drank out of those cups, and above all knew that wherever Aunt Jean was was a safe and good place to be.
She was very proud of her grandchildren, and rightfully so. Thank you for sharing this....
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